Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
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