you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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