id be glad to
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize
