I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Randomize
