i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize
