Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
