Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
Randomize
