Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
