she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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