I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
