So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Randomize