Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Randomize
