Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Please, let me fuck your mom
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Randomize
