Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Randomize
