I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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