dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
I cut my penus on the lid.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
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