Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
Houston, we have a blender
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Randomize
