let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
I cut my penus on the lid.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
