I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize
