Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
Randomize
