Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
Randomize
