At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
