I molested 6 butterflies tonight
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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