Someone shit on the floor
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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