vagina is talking i cant
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
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