haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
How does it feel to date your dad?
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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