i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
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