Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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