So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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