You smell like stripper and shame
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
Ketchup is God's man juice
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
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