my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
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