Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
Bring me that man meat
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Randomize
