Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
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