Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
