it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
What drink are we having for lunch?
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
Randomize
