he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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