She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
i love accidental penises.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
BRING THE BAGELS
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
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