You smell like stripper and shame
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
