Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
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