roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
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