I'm laying in your front yard are you home
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Randomize
