We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Randomize
