I'm really into asian looking animals
i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
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