I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
