If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
My feet surprised me
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
Randomize
