is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
Randomize
