I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
