imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize
