all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
