Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
