how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize