I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
