Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Randomize
