what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Randomize
