You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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