I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Randomize
