You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
You're a waste of cheezeits
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
I think your dad took our porno
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
