Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
