So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
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