Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
