she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
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