you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Please don't give away my fajitas
Randomize
