Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
